No Freaking Clue
by HPJellicleCat
Summary: Sirius has a confession to make! "Was he being serious?" "I have no freaking clue."  SLASH. Enjoy. Rated because of language and sexual REFERENCES.  No sexual content...umm...yet. :D  Dedicated to marauders o.o
1. Confessions

**Woo! Another random story! This one came to me in the shower. O_o**

**I get inspiration from weird things. Such as my shampoo.**

**I think there will be another chapter. Maybe. If I'm bothered. =L If I get enough reviews, I certainly will, if not...ehhh, maybe. I would like at least...5 reviews, please! ^.^ PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE! XD**

**I dedicate this to **marauders o.o **because she's awesome. No further explanation required. If you have not already, please check out her stories. There's a link on my prooooooooooofile.**

**Okies. That's all, I think. Please enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters. ='(**

"GUYS, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!"

Sirius burst into the boys' dormitories, hands flailing in all directions as he desperately tried to explain that he'd had an amazing epiphany during detention with McGonagall.

James held up a hand and cut across him. "Woah, woah, woah, Pads slow down. You realised something while writing out lines...what was this remarkable revelation that you seem so enthusiastic about?"

Sirius plopped down on the end of Remus' bed, arm draped across his forehead and eyes closed.

Remus looked over his book at him and raised an eyebrow at his over exaggerated display.

James and Peter were playing chess on James' bed, which was right next to Remus', and they pushed the chess board away, watching the ebony haired boy with wrapt curiosity.

"What is it Sirius?" Peter squeaked.

Remus put his book aside and waited expectantly.

Sirius opened his eyes and threw his arms up in the air. "I'm in love!"

"Really?" came the shrewd response.

"Yes, Remus, really! And what's weirder...it's a HE! I LIKE COCK!"

There was a long pause as three minds processed this fact.

"Wait, what?" That was James, looking thoroughly confused.

"Gay, queer, poof, ponce, yadda, yadda, yadda," he waved his hands around impatiently.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked softly.

"'Uhhh, the fact that I want to pound into his hot little ass and play tongue wrestling with him clearly justifies the fact that I'm gay."

James crinkled his nose slightly at that descriptive little sentence, but Peter looked somewhat confused.

"I meant about being in love."

"Oh..." Sirius paused. His eyes moved from Peter, who looked extremely perplexed, as if he hadn't understood any of the conversation, to James, who had a slightly amused glint in his eyes, before finally resting on Remus. His face was ghostly pale, all the colour drained from it. They locked eyes and a slightly pink tinge rose in his cheeks as Sirius continued to watch him.

"Well, yes" he finally persisted, "When I wanted to _kill _someone for hurting him, I realised I felt something strong for him. When I could hardly survive the day because I hadn't seen him smile yet, I knew something odd was going on. When I began waking up in the middle of the night, breathing heavily and all hot and sticky, with his face imprinted on my brain and his name on my lips, I realised my feelings had ventured past mere friendship. When I couldn't stop thinking about him, watching him and smelling his _fucking _shampoo, I realised I had a HUGE crush. When I got his name tattooed across my _ass _after a rather drunken night, I realised it may be a slight obsession. When I began living to make him laugh, which was the most beautiful sound in the world to me, I realised that it was harbouring on something bigger. Then I, _the _Sirius Black, wanted not only to _touch him, _but to touch him in completely platonic ways; things as simple as holding his hand or running my fingers through his hair. And when I realised that, about 10 minutes ago, I also realised...I'm utterly, _hopelessly, _in fucking love!"

He laughed as he said the last part, joy mingling with sadness in his words.

Remus' eyes were guarded, though there seemed to be a twinge of sadness in them. He was frowning, looking altogether upset. James looked like he wanted to ask him who it was, but all that escaped his lips was a small, "Why hopelessly?"

"What?" asked Sirius. It was now his turn to look confused.

"You said '_utterly and hopelessly in love'. _Why hopelessly?"

Remus closed his eyes and leaned his head against the pillow behind him. "Sometimes, James, the people we love don't exactly love us back."

Sirius looked at him questioningly, an expression which Remus missed due to his lack of sight at that present moment.

"But why give up? How do you even know? Do you think I'm going to stop going after Lily because she supposedly hates me? No. I'll get her eventually, and it will be worth all the trouble. Even if I don't, at least I'll know I didn't quit."

They were all staring at him in amazement. "Wow, James. I think that's the most inspiring, intelligent, romantic and poetic thing you've ever said in your life."

"Sod off, Sirius." Said person let out a bark of laughter as a pillow collided with his face.

James grinned like a mad man, Peter began giggling like crazy, and Remus let out a short laugh, but it was obviously forced.

Sirius frowned, tilting his head to the side slightly. "What's wrong, Rem?"

"I'm just tired." He replied wearily.

"Don't give me that bullshit." Sirius said, waving his hand around, "But whatever, if you're going to lie to me, I assume you have a reason. I won't pry, Moony."

"Who is it?" James asked curiously, "Do we know him?"

"Oh, I'd say you all know him pretty well."

"It's not Snivellus, is it?" James asked, horrified, "Because I don't think I could stand tha-"

"Gosh, James! Please don't insult my taste in men! I wouldn't stoop that low, trust me."

"Then who? Is it Frank?"

"What? –No, Peter, it's not Frank."

"TELL US!" They shouted in unison.

"Yes, tell us."

Sirius jumped up at the sound of the soft, sensual voice that haunted his dreams. Remus had been so quiet he'd almost forgotten he was there.

"Uh, well... it's...it's...uhhh...you." Sirius looked pointedly at Remus, who was frozen, then clapped his hands together once in a nervous gesture. "Alright, enough confession from me tonight, I'm off to bed!"

Then he pranced over to his bed and in one fluid movement, pulled the curtains shut.

All three sat there, frozen, staring at the red hangings where he'd just disappeared.

James looked between Remus and the drapes. "Was he being serious?"

Remus' eyes flickered towards James and he resisted the urge to lighten the mood with the overused '_He's always Sirius,' _and answered honestly.

"I have no freaking clue."

~*gasp*~

**Hiya, it's me again! =D**

**Um, I just wanted to remind everyone to review. PLEASE! *kitty eyes***

**-Love, HPJellicleCat. xx ^.^**


	2. Fun :D

**Heya, people. =D**

**Okay, here's the second and last chapter. I hope you like it! XD**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. Maybe for my next story I should raise the stakes to 10 reviews?**

**A few reviews I'd like to mention:**

jensonluvsu- **HAHA! Your review made me laugh. XD**

black-perfection- **Wow, thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

marauder o.o- **Ehehehehehe, you know you're awesome! ^.^ And you must update soon! D=**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters, oh no. =( It would be so much more fun if I did.**

**DEDICATION: YO, YOU! YES, YOU, **marauders o.o**! T****his is for YOU!**

**Please review! *kitty eyes***

**-Love, HPJellicleCat. xx ^.^**

"Sirius?"

_Fuck._

"SIRIUS?" the voice hissed, louder this time.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

I knew that voice. I knew that voice _so _well.

"Sirius, I know you're awake."

_Shit, holy shit._

"I swear to god if you don't answer me I'm going to-"

I flipped over, onto my back.

"Curse me into oblivion?" I finished for him in a nonchalant voice.

He looked slightly startled at my sudden response.

"I was going to say slap you, but okay."

I laughed softly. "Slap me? Wow, Moony, I thought _I _was gay, maybe we should be worried about you, too."

Okay, it's true, I was just trying to avoid talking about me...liking him...

"Why is it worrying?" he frowned slightly.

A shifted awkwardly. "I don't know, doesn't it make you guys feel awkward?"

The corners of his lips turned up slightly and he crossed his arms across his chest, leaning against one of the posts of my bed. "Why would it make me feel awkward if I'm gay, too?"

I froze. _What did he say?_

"Sorry, I didn't catch that?" I asked, trying to crush the hope that was slowly building inside my chest.

He sighed softly, letting his arms fall to his sides. "Sirius, I think we should talk."

_Ah, crap._

Just because he said he was _gay, _that didn't mean he liked _me. _

I moved into a sitting position, leaning back against the headboard and he sat down on my bed.

He was quite close to me, legs crossed. His fingers were nervously playing with the red bed covers and he unconsciously bit his lip. He glanced up at me and licked his lips. It wasn't _meant _to be obvious, it was just one of his nervous habits, but _oh my god. _That flexible tongue slipped out of its home and gently ran over those luscious looking lips, leaving them glistening wet and more irresistible looking than ever.

_Fuck, _I thought, as all the blood in my body rushed downwards.

I made a small sound in my throat and tried my best to subtly cover my problem.

His eyes searched my face, eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Were you being serious before?"

I chuckled nervously. "I'm always Sirius!"

He raised one eyebrow and just stared at me, waiting for a proper answer.

I let out a lungful of air and looked down. "Yes, everything I said was indeed serious."

"Everything?" he prompted.

I glanced up at him from under my lashes, waiting for his reaction. "Yes,"

Suddenly, he smiled. It was small and soft, but evidently there.

I raised my head and looked at him fully this time, a curious expression on my face.

_Do _not _let yourself hope. Do NOT!_

All of a sudden, he was about five centimetres away from me, noses almost touching.

He was on his hands and knees, my legs in between his. My breathing immediately sped up.

He tilted his head to the side slightly in innocent interest.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

His sweet breath fanned across my face, gliding through my slightly opened lips. The taste was extraordinary. I could feel his heat radiating off him, and his smell was _sooo_ alluring.

_Fuck._

"Yes," I managed to gasp out.

Then his lips were on mine. It was just a small touching of lips, but I had never tasted anything sweeter before. I later came to learn that there were indeed things that tasted better than Remus' lips, such as his tongue, his neck, his chest, his uhhh...well; I think you get the point. At that moment, though, it was the most amazing taste ever. It sent my senses mad- and my hormones to, because trust me, I had heaps of them.

However, it was over much too fast for my liking.

Just as I reached out to wrap my arms around him, he was gone.

I opened my eyes, startled and let out a small unhappy noise.

He looked at my shyly from across the bed, a small but uncertain smile on his lips.

"I love you, too, Sirius." He said softly.

My eyes widened and I swear my heart tried to leap out of my chest. Instead of lifting him in my arms and shouting out in joy, I looked at him with puppy eyes.

"Why did you stop?" I pouted.

He laughed outright then pounced on me.

He attacked my lips, but I wasn't complaining. Oh no, not one bit.

When we broke apart, both gasping for air, our shirts were half undone and I was lying down, with him on top of me.

He gently brushed his lips along my jaw as his hands shoved my shirt off. As I was doing the same to him, I felt them travel down to my neck. He paused at my pulse and his tongue flicked out. I groaned softly and my eyes fluttered shut in contentment. He gently sucked on that area and I had to bite my lip to suppress any sounds. Suddenly, his teeth grazed my skin as he bit into it. I gasped, arching off the bed, trying to bring our bodies closer together.

I felt him smile against my skin before he continued down, lips coming into contact with my chest.

When his teeth scratched my nipple I almost screamed. I'd never realised they were so sensitive before. His tongue gently ran over it, then his teeth, then his tongue again.

I was past coherency, simply babbling words like, "Fuck, Remus. Oh my gosh...soooo _gooood, _Reeeeemuuuus..."

Then he stopped. I groaned at the loss and he grinned mischievously. "In your little speech before, I think I remember something about pounding into my ass...?" he trailed off slightly.

A fervent fire rushed through my veins. "_Fuck_,"

"Mhm, correct" he said, "But I'm afraid I don't really want you to fuck me. Although, I'd gladly fuck you."

"Ahhhh, yes, _please."_

"Hmmm..." he murmured, as his lips found my chest again, "Since you asked so nicely, I think it can be arranged."

_**...the next day...**_

"Hey Remus," James asked, while walking out of the bathroom, "Did you hear all those noises last night? It was like..." he waved his toothbrush around, brow furrowing as he tried to think of the right word, "_moaning. _Do you think Moaning Myrtle has left the bathroom? What do you think it was?"

Sirius' and Remus' eyes met. The former stifled a laugh as the latter smirked. He turned to James innocently.

"No freaking clue,"


End file.
